Our mission is to help participants:

• express their situation/feelings/fears/hopes/goals
• within a spirit of love and acceptance
• within the context of our Christian faith
• without judgment for their attitudes or beliefs.

Not a small task!
In a nutshell, our job is to serve as God's love reaching out to them so they can heal.

We endeavor to be:

• true to Biblical principles as we understand them;
• accepting of each person, regardless of their viewpoints.
• vulnerable and honest about our own struggles;
• continuing our own recovery process.

Our recovery program is unique in that we offer it in two phases. 

In Phase I, we assume:

• participants are in the "bleeding" stage.
• we need to "pet their pain."
• they need to know what they are experiencing is normal.
• they need to know they are not alone.
• they need to know God accepts their questions, doubts, anger, goodness, and "badness."

1. Picking Up the Pieces
2. Grief, Loss, and Other Torture
3. From Where I Was to Where I Will Be
4. To Thine Own Self Be True
5. Forgive Him/Her?  Surely You Jest!
6. Intimacy...As A Single.  Help!
7. Free To Be Me!

In Phase II, we assume:

• the "bleeding" has stopped
• they need to rediscover who they are
• they may need to affirm or reaffirm Whose they are

1. Embracing the Truth That Will Set Us Free
2. Harnessing Those Out-Of-Control Emotions
3. Help!  I've Forgotten Who I Am!
4. Seems I've Been Here Before
5. Letting Go of the Past
6. Learning to Trust Again
7. Single, Confident, and Compassionate

For these reasons, Phase I is a "soft touch" approach.  We follow the outline closely and hold their hands.  In Phase II, we are more interactive and help them participate again in life.  In both phases, we must remember they are still fragile; grief is painful.  Failure to do our grief work, however, is terminal. 

The thinking behind our approach.

When we established our program, we reviewed what other organizations offer.  Most organizations offer a version of Phase I:  "I'm bleeding and wish I could die."  Most offer a relationship class for remarriage.  No one offered recovery for that "middle" group:  "The bleeding has stopped.  Now who am I?"  This is where they grow from feeling like they are "half" a person because of their loss into celebrating the fact that one is a whole number.  Until they are "whole" and don't "need" another person to make them "feel good," they are not ready for remarriage.

We created Phase II do help participants regain control of their lives and discover their strengths.  Those who had been single long enough to feel good about themselves met over a period of 6 months to identify what they learned that made a difference.  Those topics comprise Phase II.

Who Participates?

The Divorced and the Widowed.  We began as Divorce Recovery.  Since we had several widows and widowers in our group, we invited a widowed therapist to audit our course and establish a parallel program for widows and widowers.  When she completed the two phases, she said, “We don’t need a separate program.  Everything you talk about also applies to us.  Let’s combine.”

We did–successfully!  The lead teaching covers the commonalities of grief; participants are assigned to discussion tables where their questions allow them to personalize the application to their loss.

Other Grief.  Soon we had other requests: 
“Our daughter committed suicide.  Could I sit through your program?”
“My mother died.  This is harder on me than my divorce.  Is there a place in your program for me?”
“I’m struggling in my marriage.  Could I learn something from you?”
“I have a debilitating disease.  I look healthy, but I’m struggling to cope.  Do you think I could learn from your program?”

We realize that every loss is unique and every loss has common elements.  We now offer an “other grief” table where those with these diverse issues can find healing.

Other Languages.  We had still other issues surface:
“My people need this, and there is nothing being offered.  Do you think I could lead a table in Spanish?”  “In Chinese?”

When there is need, we place our other language speakers at a table.  They listen to the lead teaching in English but discuss the questions in their native language–the language in which they think.

The rewards.

This is an awesome ministry.  People come to us wishing they could be anywhere else.  Within three weeks they can laugh again.  They still hurt, but they now have hope and compassion to help them through their journey.  They minister to us.  We receive far more than we give.